diary of a surgery

this will most likely be boring (and possibly long) for anyone reading. i wanted to document the days after my surgery for my own journaling though. so if you're bored...stick around and read about my knee surgery:

day 1

pre-surgery. hungry, and LOVING the booties they gave me. skin-toned and all. sooo hot!

coming out of anesthesia: although i do not remember getting this picture taken. (good thing because if i would have been conscious i would have refused a picture). nate is rotating with the orthopaedic surgeon next month, so he let nate come in the OR.

the 1st thing i heard when i came out of anesthesia was the sound of my baby's heart beating. i heard the nurse say "135-138 beats per minute" and i just broke down into tears. i was so afraid that something would go wrong during surgery, and i had been praying and praying that the baby would be okay through it all. i was overcome with gratitude that the baby was just fine. no better sound in the world than that.

when we went home from the hospital i was nauseous and throwing up all day. surprisingly my knee didn't even hurt at all. "sweet, this is going to be so easy" i thought. neither nate nor the surgeon informed me that my knee was full of lidocaine at the time, and that when it wore off i would want to saw my leg off. i didn't take any lortab all day, i felt no pain at all. we went to bed that night, and i woke up at 4am in worse pain than i have ever felt in my life. i can't even describe it, i wished i was in labor instead. i just held my leg and sobbed uncontrollably, not even caring if i woke the kids (or the neighbors) up. nate finally convinced me to get some lortab in my system, and after about 1/2 hour it took the edge off just enough to fall back asleep for a bit. i guess it wasn't going to be as easy as i had thought.

day 2

pain. pain. and more pain. i had to lay on my back with my leg elevated, with ice on it as much as possible. the problem with that? past 16 weeks of pregnancy you're not supposed to lay on your back. so i was switching off trying to angle my back every few minutes from one side to the other, all the while trying not to move my leg a centimeter. the pain was still unbearable, i got up a total of 3 times to use the bathroom, and thought i was going to die in pain each time. even if someone sat on the other end of the couch i would start crying in pain. i had NO idea it would be that painful. the surgeons and nurses made it sound like it was going to be SO easy. easy for them to say, while you are still all drugged/numbed up at the hospital. then they send you on your way and never see the after effects.

ice pack tied to my knee...not giving me near enough cooling.

switched to a bigger bag of ice and used some tights from heather (that she got in russia) to keep it tied on. the many uses of tights from russia.

day 4

i couldn't WAIT for day 4 to roll around. i had to wait 72 hours to unwrap my massive leg, and i was anxious to see how it was healing. interesting how they say if you notice signs of infection the 1st couple days to go in to the ER. a LITTLE hard to see when you can't even unwrap it for 3 days. when i unwrapped it i couldn't believe how much stuff they had wrapped in there. i'm sure just for all the wrap supplies they charged our insurance a thousand dollars. it had an ace wrap, a roll of what looked like quilt batting, layers and layers of gauze wrapped, 3 square maxi-pad things, yellow netting-tape, and then the steri-strips. no WONDER i couldn't feel the ice when i'd ice it for 2 hours straight!

i was in HEAVEN finally unwrapping it all...

one square maxi-pad: $200

one gauze square: $150

i had to add this picture. notice the YES on my leg. you have to write a yes on the leg they are supposed to do surgery on, and the surgeon has to sign your leg prior to surgery. wouldn't want them to do the wrong leg. and it's happened before...sad!

emma was such a trooper. she'd cuddle up next to me on the couch and play, or read, or just fall asleep.

day 5

the pain was slowly getting better. days 1, 2, and 3 i really just thought i couldn't take the pain. but of course it slowly eased up. this was pretty much my life. laying on the couch with ice, and crutches at arm's reach. (thanks bishop and jen). and the table scooted close to the couch with everything i could ever need on it. one of the mornings my sweet mom even put an orange on the table for me to eat, and a washrag in a plastic bag for me to wipe my hands off with. aside from the pain and longer-than-i-wanted-recovery, i have been SO BLESSED with all the help i've received. more on that later....

emma plopped down next to me and started 'reading' the scriptures. she was holding them upside down and singing "i am a child of god" pointing to the book like she was following along. love that girl.

day 6

oh WHAT? they look exactly the same size to me. yuk.

at this point i really thought my leg would never be the same.

day 9

followed up with my surgeon...and i was super bummed to hear how long he said my recovery would be. he kept saying how bad the tear was that they had to cut out, and that recovery alone would be at least 6-8 weeks, and i wouldn't be completely back to normal with no pain for 6-12 months. he also said the part of the bone they had to grind off would cause a lot of pain (yup...felt that already) and that it was abnormal for a person my age to have that much wear on my joints already. bummer...guess i better be more careful with my knees.

while i was at the surgeon's office, half of nate's family came to my house and cleaned and scrubbed it from top to bottom for over 3 hours. i can't tell you the sense of peace i felt afterwards to have a perfectly clean house again. call me a perfectionist or whatever, but i like to have a clean house whenever possible. and i was about going INSANE with a messy house, and not being able to do anything about it. i can't thank them enough for coming to clean for so long. and thanks to jen for offering to do it the same day :o)

day 13

bye bye crutches!! YES the surgeon said i have to use crutches until i can 'walk without a limp'. easy for him to say...but impossible for me to do with stairs, being pregnant, and having 3 kids. i kicked the crutches to the curb, and started focusing on walking properly, rather than limping like a wooden leg. it was slow as all get-out, but i was determined to get my life back.

day 15

1st day of physical therapy. why don't they just call it physical torture? come on people. yes it was painful, but it has helped SO much to get my range of motion back.

yet another sweet emma moment that made me laugh. she came downstairs with her mouth closed and then bore these bad boys. i couldn't stop laughing..what a goofball.

day 18

do you see it?! it's a kneecap!! i wondered if it was really still in there. this pic was from saturday driving back from st. george. my knee/pain/swelling/range-of-motion has improved drastically the past few days. i am almost not even limping!! i still can't wait for the day that i can sit 'criss cross applesauce' on the floor while i work on projects. or even kneel on my knee (which i was told today at PT will probably be months. boo.) but i have been so blessed to heal quickly through this whole journey.

i can't even begin to list and thank everyone for all of their selfless service to us during this hard time for me. people taking the kids on so many occasions, bringing dinner, bringing us ice because ice makers can't keep up with knee surgeries, meals, desserts, breakfast foods, crutches, cleaning my house, cleaning my kitchen, bringing my garbage can up from the street, the list goes on and on forever. you know who you are, and i am grateful for each and every one of you. i have been so humbled through this experience, and i am so grateful that everything has turned out ok. here's to a more normal knee soon!!